Chosen by grace =]...

Somehow I was just inspired to write about my life when i listened to Reggie Dabbs sermon.
This is just bits and pieces of it.

I was unwanted when i was conceived, my mom was married and yet the marriage was breaking down. She didnt plan to have me. Yet God did not stop there. By His mercy I was still born into this world. By His mercy, I was able to reach out to others just the way I am. I didnt think that I could ever impact anyone's life that my life was going to be so ordinary. When I found out about this, it was when my grandmother was angry at me that she just plainly told me when I was around 16 or 17. The first time I heard about it, it didnt quite struck me yet. But soon after that, I just couldnt seem to get it out of my mind. I was unwanted. This explains how much I love my mom and how much she has sacrificed to have raised me up and my sisters and yet I find it a bit hard to connect to her. I wasnt sure if its because she has been busy working to support us or was it the sense of rejection that I had felt when I was in her womb. It wasnt her fault of course. People make mistakes, and this wasnt her mistake. It was just an unfortunate thing that happened, It was just a wrong timing.

I grew up knowing God as a story in a bible. I grew up as Catholic who's been to sunday school twice in my life and went to a Catholic school and goes to church every now and then. I didnt know Who Jesus was, I didnt know what was these stories telling me about. I didnt have any passion for Him or even plainly cared about Him. I had a hidden desire though, but not enough to call it a passion. So i kinda just left it.

When I moved to Melbourne, my high school sweetheart brought me to his church. I didnt quite like it, coming from a Catholic background this whole pentecostal thing is just too lively for a quiet little teenager who just came from Indonesia. Its all too weird to see people just raising their hands and saying yes and Amens to people praying or when the pastor is preaching. I mean I have never seen that before and they all just seemed too extreme to me. There was also a lot of gossips flying around that i heard from people. Hence why i built this defensive wall and just went there because I had to.

Then we broke up, and by His grace He brought us back together just so that I could get a second chance with Him. The second time we got back together, there was a change that I could see in him. He just came back from the church's winter camp. He was different. there was this light, this gentleness that is just lost for words. He couldnt even describe it. I was speechless and agreed to give the church another try. This time around, I didnt join the church's main service. There was a youth english service that runs in the church just for about half a year in 2008. By His grace, I was introduced to so many people who are genuine and whom cared about me so dearly. To this day I thank God for bringing these people into my life. I started coming to the youth service more regularly simply because I liked the people. A year went by, as my faith grew in Him the moment I received Him, there was no turning back. There was this burning desire in my heart to just wanna know more and more of Him. There was this unexplainable peace and joy that comes from deep within me everytime I am at the prayer service or whenever I listen to the songs they sang and then sang along. There was something different in my life. Something that was missing and now is found. I have found something worthwhile in my life. Something that makes so much sense. Of course this doesnt just happen overnight. I went through a lot of doubts, a lot of people telling me that I'm too extreme. A lot of people telling me that I was just wasting my time. But His grace was sufficient for me, I just couldnt ignore this desire in my heart that I just want to keep pursuing Him with all my heart, mind and soul.

God never ignore your calls, He is actually waiting for you to call unto Him. It doesnt matter who you are, who you were, what things you used to do and where you came from. It doesnt matter whether one person doesnt want you, the whole world rejects you, It doesnt matter ! He loves you! He loves you enough to give you His only Son. He loves you enough to have planned every single day of your life that you may be given a chance to receive His Son and receive eternal life, that you shall not perish and have an abundant life.

I am one person. I am only a single girl whose life been touched by God and changed completely by the mercy of His grace. I am one person whose life could be used as a testimony for some people who may have gone through what I have gone through. This is just one story from my life that I am sharing today. This is just a start of my journey with Him. This is just one of the many entries that I will be making to testify of His great Love in my life :).

I am very grateful, I am forever thankful that His love has found me the way I am. My life didnt have to start off in a mansion nor it needed to be planned by men. I know now more than ever before that it was planned by God. That He had carefully knit me together in my mother's womb (Psalm 139:14). That I was created specifically and purposefully, not manufactured or mass produced. There was a difference that God wanted me to make in my life and in others. By His grace I will do so as His Spirit continues to guide me in my walk with Him and reveal me one of the many things about Him. I am continuously amazed and is forever blessed. God doesnt only give you a chance in life like many of us tend to think that when we mess up, there is only one way out which is death. No. He gave us a lot of chances as long as we are willing to repent off our mistakes and trust in Him in all of His ways. Life doesnt need to be plain simple or ordinary. Lets be extraordinary for God has called us to do greater things than He who breaths out stars and knows the numbers of hairs on our head. I'm joining the race to pursue my great God, to be holy as He is holy and submitting my life unto Him alone. Have a great one guys, I hope this story can bless you one way or another! Im sure you have great stories of your own, lets start sharing to one another and build each other's faith for you are His living testimonies !

Jesus bless u :), may His name be glorified for ever and ever in our lives. Amen !

"You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you so that you might go and bear fruit—fruit that will last—and so that whatever you ask in my name the Father will give you." [John 15:16]